REFLECTING: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the UGLIER!
Sometimes it’s good to just sit back and reflect. The fact that I am blessed to be able to use my God given talents is priceless—the GOOD! The feeling is indescribable. I will never forget my debut show in Meridian, Mississippi. I was walking around appearing confident when really, I was a WRECK! I had my husband, son, mom and two good girlfriends there for support. People seemed excited—they walked the red carpet with bright spot lights shining through the air. As I watched the theater fill up, I was overcome with emotion. I was happy and I was excited, but most of all, I was nervous! OMG—all of these people are here to see MY show? Will they like it? Will they get it? It’s live—will it run as planned? Will the actors remember their lines? Will the sound be right? Will the lighting be right? It was so much to think about. No wait…I wasn’t thinking. I was worrying—the BAD! It was so much to worry about! I was tired of worrying though. I had been worrying for months—mostly financial worries. There was so much to consider on the road: renting vans, hotel rooms, airfare for the cast, TV spots, radio spots, insurances, props, flyers, and the list goes on!
It was too late to turn back though. So I prayed and I composed myself and decided to live in the moment and enjoy the show, no matter what! Then, out of nowhere I heard—“SURPRISE!” My family (sister, nephews and nieces) showed up from Baltimore and that was all she wrote! All of the excitement and fear escaped my body in the form of tears. Tears that I couldn’t control and tears that I couldn’t make stop no matter how hard I tried. It was—the UGLY! At first, I felt this lump in my throat, then, an emotional explosion, and lastly, a complete meltdown right there in the theater. For a moment, I was the show. My makeup was a mess! It was all happy tears though. There was something in me that wasn’t quite complete
without having them there.
We toured a few more cities and I started to sink into the moment. It was fun! I started to feel more comfortable. The process wasn’t so scary anymore. I felt more confident. I’m really a playwright. This is a real dream come true. My hard work was paying off. This is beautiful! But things around me started to get ugly—real UGLY! I started to see a few egos. I started to feel like it was not my show. But, this is my show! Things aren’t reflecting me and who I am. The drama started. The devil got busy. And I started to hear excuses like, “This is theater, you have to expect drama on the set.” But, no—I don’t! I won’t accept drama on my set. I won’t be disrespected. I won’t be loud talked. I won’t be bullied because I’m new to this world. I won’t be bullied because I’m a woman entering this entertainment world. And because I won’t, I didn’t and things got UGLIER!
You know that saying—you never know a person until you live with them? Well, I’d like to change it to—you never know people until you do business with them. So, my tip for you is, be careful who you share your dreams and your business with! Not everyone has your best interest at heart. The good news is that I’ve learned valuable lessons and I’m thankful for learning so much so early in my career! In the words of Fantasia—“Sometimes you got to lose, to win again.”
So, the $64,000 question is: Will I ever do a play again? And the answer is: ABSOLUTELY! When the time is right…but I will not rush into a bad business decision and neither shoud you.
If you need my help reaching your writing goals, email me at CrystalClearPublications@gmail.com. Or, you can text, I'M READY to (443) 826-9646. Also, check out the PREMIUM course at Creative Writer's University. I have a few modules available for you to preview! Click here: www.CreativeWritersUniversity.com Cheering for your writing success always!